|
Late 1996
With all of the mistakes that Dave had made - the people he'd used and the lies he'd told - apologies had always been quick to fall from the tip of his tongue. But this one would be the hardest for him to make.
It was Martin who had called Dave, not the other way around, and that was perhaps why it was so hard for Dave to swallow his shattered pride and apologize to him.
Martin had made the first move, upping the ante. Being the bigger man.
Their last conversation (more like confrontation) hadn't been the most civil; far from it, in fact. Dave's addiction, which threatened to tear the group apart, had brought about Martin's bitterness and anger and Dave couldn't say that he blamed him for it. But Dave had been so blind and caught up in his own bullshit, he couldn't see what it was doing to Martin.
Or he possibly didn't want to see.
Dave looked at his watch, the gliding second hand reminding him that time was winding down before everything would come to a head. Martin had chosen to meet him at a hotel so they could talk. Ironic that it was the hotel that they had had their last rendezvous. Dave was pretty sure that Martin had picked it purposefully, to be sure that he hadn't forgotten. As if he could ever. He looked around the hotel room - Room 528 - and cataloged everything that hadn't changed since the last time he had been there. It would give him something to do before Martin arrived and hopefully stave off some of the nervous energy that was bubbling up inside of him.
He fought the urge to raid the mini-bar and have a drink, instead opting for a bottle of spring water and imagining that it had the smoothness of Absolut. The beds in the hotel were really comfortable - that Dave certainly remembered as he lay down on one of the beds, crossing his ankles and folding his arms above his head. If he couldn't be relaxed, he sure as hell could look the part. He let his mind wander to the early days - the days when their lives were filled with little money and little drama. Funny how the appearance of both brought about so many problems at about the same time.
-----
Dave's relationship with Martin had been a good one and they became close friends and partners in crime. When there was mischief to be made, Martin was always up for it. They became a pair of holy terrors for the longest time which made Dave believe they were more kindred spirits than anything else.
He knew that Martin wasn't gay - had always known it. Many people assumed that he was because he loved wearing leather and make-up and skirts with straps. But that was just a part of Martin's image. His relationship with the ladies was fully intact. Martin always knew who he was and what he wanted and he didn't pay attention to what anyone else said. That was probably what made him seem attractive to Dave.
Now, Dave wasn't gay either and he never thought that he might be. But sometimes, he couldn't deny that there was this need, this desire and Martin seemed to understand because it existed inside of him as well. They each knew what it was the other needed and it sometimes felt like no one else in the world could fulfill that need. No one understood, not like Martin did.
Only Martin.
And that first time... After so many years of joking and hinting, alluding and teasing, Dave finally told Martin 'okay'. One simple word and his world turned completely around on its axis and he knew that once he ventured down that road, nothing would ever, ever be the same again.
Martin initiated it - not the other way around. He shoved Dave against the wall, pressing his lips against Dave's. But Dave was the first to part his lips so he could taste Martin's mouth. He would never deny that fact (nor would Martin let him forget it.) The curiosity and heat and tension had just built up and there was nowhere else for them to go but there - against the alley wall behind the club and they couldn't even blame their actions on alcohol or drugs.
But Dave was glad because he wouldn't have wanted anything else hindering the taste of Martin's mouth. He wanted to the bite of the buckle on Martin's jacket as it dug into his hip. Dave wound his arms around Martin's waist and pulled him in even closer, letting the pent-up lust bubble over between them. He didn't attempt to hold back his moan and he let it go, moaning into Martin's mouth. And this - this felt real. Felt right. Felt like going home and Dave knew - this would be the start of something amazing.
-----
Dave scrubbed his hand over his face as he basked in the memory, letting his fingers linger over his lips as a reenactment of their first kiss. Their first time together was so incredible and for the longest time, something amazing did take place between them. They included this aspect of their relationship, letting it strengthen their friendship as well as their working association. Martin wrote things that touched Dave's soul; that only his voice could express and make real. And that bond continued on for years, growing stronger and flourishing until...
Until Dave screwed it all up.
The quiet snick of the door made Dave's eyes open and he took in the sight of his friend standing before him. Martin's hair was straightened, hanging long with his bangs in his eyes - a far cry from the curly mop he used to wear. He looked tired and worn, like he hadn't slept in a few nights.
And Dave wasn't sure he'd seen him look any better than he did at that moment.
He got up from the bed and approached Martin, his heart beating loudly in his chest. Martin seemed to hesitate for a moment then he began walking towards Dave, a wide smile coming across his face. All of Dave's anxiety melted away at the quiet whisper that fell from Martin's lips.
"Dave."
Dave smiled and stepped closer, closing the space between them that had been there for far too long.
|