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Billie was in a mood.
It was one of those frantic, antsy, frustrated, ‘have to do something to cause trouble’ moods; possibly not the best mood to bring to a Christmas party.
Jason watched from the corner of the room as Billie downed another drink, recognizing the belligerent set to his chin, the way his eyebrows drew together as he scanned the crowd looking for a victim. He noted the tension of Billie’s rounded shoulders beneath the leather jacket as he began to prowl through the mass of people. Strung up tighter than a bow string, he realized.
This could be trouble.
Jason searched the partygoers who were for the moment unaware of the thundercloud in their midst, looking for either Mike or Tré. One or the other could deftly side-track Billie if they were aware—and not the cause—of Billie’s agitation. He spotted Tré’s shock of hair over in the corner, his hands and his lap filled with buxom brunette, a blearily gleeful grin on his face as he poured a cup of eggnog into the obvious cleavage of his lapful, then bent his head to begin licking it off.
No help there.
Where the hell was Mike?
Jason craned his neck a little, searching for Mike’s lanky form, finally spotting him heading out the back door, one arm curled possessively around a shapely set of shoulders, his face turned into a fall of wavy, red hair. Ah, the new girlfriend. Maybe this one would last? Whatever, she rendered Mike practically useless in this current situation.
He turned his attention back to Billie who was now pushing his way towards the bar.
“Okay, that’s it.” Jason pushed off the wall, not liking the way Billie’s lips were thinned to a tight line and his hands clenched into fists. He quickly threaded his way across the room, wondering what could possibly have his friend in such a state.
“What?” Billie whirled about as Jason put a hand on his shoulder. His eyes were dark and narrowed as he glared a challenge up at him.
“What, what?” Jason arched an eyebrow, keeping his tone good-natured, not rising to the bait of Billie’s expression. “It’s a Christmas party and I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.”
“Yeah, well—” The rest of Billie’s response was muffled as Jason wrapped his arms around him and drew him into a tight hug.
“Merry Christmas, dude.” Jason could feel the humming tension that filled the slight body in his arms. “C’mon, let’s get out of here for a bit,” he bent his head and murmured. Someone bumped him from behind, but his hold on Billie didn’t falter.
Billie’s head tilted back, his chin still set rebelliously.
“It’s my Christmas party, I can’t leave.”
“Yes, you can. For a little bit.” Jason was determined to get Billie out of the swirling crowd before he went off like a firecracker. That wouldn’t be good for anyone. “Come on. I’ll carry you if I have to,” he warned with a good-natured grin.
“Fine,” Billie huffed and Jason loosened his hold just enough so that he could turn him in his arms and point him towards the door.
“Good man.” Jason breathed a soft sigh of relief as Billie took the first step and they began to negotiate their way from the room.
“You can let go of me now.” Billie wrenched himself from beneath Jason’s arm once they were safely away from the party, enclosed in one of the smaller mixing rooms of the studio.
“Bill—”
“Oh, just don’t. Okay? Don’t give me a fucking lecture.” Billie began to pace back and forth in front of the small sofa that seemed to be prerequisite furniture for any mixing room in any studio.
Four steps one way, spin, four steps the other.
Jason folded his arms across his chest, leaning back against the door and watching in silent concern. He hated seeing Billie all wound up tighter than the tightest spring. Yes, Billie was high-strung, they all knew that, but when something grabbed hold of him and caused the anger and frustration to take center stage it was usually far more than sensitive nerves. He knew sooner or later it would come out, whatever it was that was eating at Billie; he just had to be patient.
“I just... I’m tired, y’know?” Billie shoved his hands in his pockets, hunching in on himself, making his already small frame even smaller. “And I’m sick of people telling me how I should feel. I should be happy. I should be pleased. I should be proud. I should be on top of the fucking world.” His hands pulled out of his pockets to wave about before clapping down to his sides. “Well, I’m not. I’m sure as fuck not and I don’t fucking need any-fucking-one to tell me I’m being ridiculous.”
Billie fell silent, chewing on his lower lip as he continued his rhythmic pacing.
“I’m not telling you you’re being ridiculous,” Jason offered quietly, forcing himself to remain relaxed against the door even though he was aching to go to his friend.
“Yeah, well, you’re the only one.” Billie paused and glanced his way, his green eyes losing some of the flashing anger that had spurred Jason to action back at the party.
Jason smiled and gave a little shrug. He was sure Billie was exaggerating, but he wasn’t about to tell him that.
“I mean, so what if the album’s all but done, finally? So fucking what if it sounds amazing? American Idiot is going to be your crowning achievement, they say. All of ’em. How the fuck do they know, huh? Just how the fuck?” Billie resumed his pacing, gnawing again on his lip. “Okay, yeah, I’m happy, I’m pleased, I’m proud. But there’s other shit, y’know? Try to talk to people about it, but fuck... no time for that. Nooo... Mike’s all wrapped up with the latest pussy to grace his bed and Tré... shit, all he tells me is to flow with it. Enjoy the fucking process. Jesus crap! What makes him a fuckin’ psychologist all of a sudden?”
On and on Billie went in the same vein, words spilling from his mouth, haltingly at first, then picking up speed even as his pacing began to slow. At least his body didn’t seem to be vibrating as much, Jason noted. Maybe this avalanche of words was doing the job of releasing at least some of the pent-up frustration that Jason knew was eating at him.
“But you know what it is, Jay? You know what it really is?” Billie stopped mid-pace and turned to face him. His expression was suddenly drained of all the sound and fury, leaving a little boy face staring at Jason with confused eyes.
Jason took a step forward then, his arms dropping to his sides, responding to the need he felt emanating from Billie. “Tell me.”
“I’m scared, Jason. I’m fucking petrified to death.” Billie’s voice was barely above a whisper as he made the admission. “I’m afraid that it’s all true. And then what?”
“Afraid of the possible bigness of it?” Jason asked gently.
“Yeah.” Billie gave a woeful little nod. “And what if it’s too big for us? We’re just a little punk band, dude.”
Jason smiled. “Damned fine little punk band.” He took another step forward. “Bill, it’s gonna be okay. It’s okay to be scared; this is big shit.” He was close enough now to rest his hands on Billie’s shoulders.
“It is?” Billie looked up, his eyes huge.
“Oh, Bill, sure it is.” Jason slid his arms around Billie and pulled him in. He knew that the one thing that would help Billie feel better was physical contact. Affectionate physical contact.
“C’mon.” He nudged Billie towards the sofa and a moment later, both were sprawled along its length, Jason holding Billie against his chest, gently stroking his back as Billie gave in to the deep-seated fear underlying the rest. He understood how it could all be so overwhelming. This new music of Billie’s was amazing, incredible, awesome; all those superlatives. And it was intimidating as well. It couldn’t not be; especially to the boy from Gilman that still lurked inside the now world-famous rockstar.
“Shit, man, I’m sorry.” Billie’s head raised a long while later as he sniffed and dragged his arm under his nose, that raggedy boy close to the surface. “Didn’t mean to blubber all over you like some fuckin’ girl.” He smoothed the wrinkled fabric of Jason’s shirt across Jason’s chest. “Got you all wet,” he chuckled softly.
“It’s not the first time.” Jason dropped a kiss on the top of Billie’s head. He couldn’t deny that he enjoyed these times when he could be Billie’s soft place to fall in times of need. He would never share with Billie what Mike and Tré did, but what the two of them did have was a close, uncomplicated friendship that had developed over the years into something firm and stable that both of them found very easy and comforting.
“Well, now that I’ve said it out loud, it’s better.” Billie shifted, inching upwards a little, giving Jason a sheepish grin. “It’s like a load off my shoulders, y’know?”
“I know.” Jason moved his hand to the back of Billie’s head, drawing his fingers through Billie’s curls. He liked the feel of it when there was no straightening or product involved. “Billie, you have to know it’s good. It’s more than fucking good, it’s totally awesome. Just remember that. You made that. You and Mike and Tré. You’ve created some awe-inspiring music and if things start to get crazy and insane...,” he smiled, “and you know they will, just think about the music. Think about where it came from and how it makes you feel. It’s beautiful, man, really fucking beautiful.”
“Good advice.” Billie’s voice was soft as he nuzzled into the curve of Jason’s neck. “You always give me good advice.” Jason felt supple lips press against his skin.
“I try.” Jason arched his neck slightly, enjoying the way Billie’s slim body felt against his and the way Billie’s mouth was warm and moist as it began to nibble and tease.
Emotional meltdowns always seemed to leave a needy and horny Billie in their wake. Jason figured it was a sign that everything was okay, that it was Billie’s way of ascertaining that things were all right in his world.
“I think,” Billie’s breath was hot against his ear, “I think we’ve got too many clothes on, don’t you?” Billie’s hands began to undo the buttons of Jason’s shirt.
“Yeah, Bill.” Jason turned and smiled, slipping a hand beneath Billie’s leather jacket. “Yeah, I do.”
They made a slow game of it, undressing each other, taking their time as they reacquainted themselves with the ticklish spots, the tender spots, the spots guaranteed to elicit a soft moan or a gentle rumble of laughter. It had been a long while since the last time they’d been so close—recording a ground-breaking album tended to take over most of a musician’s existence—but Jason found that his hands remembered instinctively which movements would make Billie gasp with pleasure and which would make him plead for more.
“Jason!” Billie arched beneath him, his fingers digging into Jason’s shoulders. Jason’s head raised at the desperate cry so different from Billie’s earlier frustration. His lips and teeth had left a pattern of red marks amidst the whirls of tattoo ink on the pale skin of Billie’s chest, driving him into a near frenzy of want.
“Tell me, Bill, tell me what you want.” His voice was husky with his own mounting need as his hand reached down to cup Billie’s balls, pressing them up against his body. The head of Billie’s rigid cock brushed against the inside of his arm, leaving a small streak of precome in its wake.
“Tell me,” he repeated as he released Billie’s balls and raised his arm to his mouth to sample that most intimate of flavors. His gaze locked with Billie’s, willing him to answer.
“I need you, Jason. I need to feel you inside me. Now... please... now!” Billie was panting now, his body almost writhing between Jason and the sofa. “I need you to fuck me, Jay.” There was a near whimper in his urgent, throaty plea that Jason couldn’t ignore, even if he wanted to. He wanted to be inside Billie, feel that slick tightness around his cock, hold that clinging body to him as he brought it to a shuddering climax and hear Billie’s cries of release batter against his eardrums.
“I will,” he promised, stretching over Billie to drop soothing kisses over his face. “I will.” He dropped one foot to the floor. “Just let me find something... there’s got to be something in here we can use.” He scanned the room, looking for something, anything that would act as a lubricant.
“Don’t care.” Billie made a sound of protest as Jason rose up from the sofa.
“You will tomorrow,” Jason chuckled breathlessly, his eyes darting to every corner of the room.
“Fuck tomorrow.”
“You say that now—ah, there we go. God bless sound engineers with girly hands.” Jason grinned as he spotted a bottle of hand lotion beneath the far corner of the mixing board. In a matter of seconds, he was back on the sofa, bottle in hand, settling between Billie’s parted legs as he popped open the top with his thumb.
“Jay, please, I need you.” Billie drew his inner leg up to rest it along the back of the sofa, his hand gliding down over his flat belly, fingers sliding into the dark, wiry hair below. He gave a soft, mewling moan of need, his hips rising and Jason caught his breath at the sheer wantonness of his actions, a new burst of heat blossoming out from his balls.
“Gonna take care of you.” His voice was a harsh murmur as he bent over Billie. “It’ll be okay.”
Billie’s cry as he slid lotion-slick fingers into him was the first of many. He clawed and clung to Jason, leaving marks that would sting later but for now, Jason was only concerned with bringing him to that final cry he knew would come. His hands slipped a little on Billie’s hips as he strove to hold him still enough to push his cock into Billie’s welcoming heat.
He cursed and his grip tightened. He glanced up at Billie’s face, noting the way the full lips were parted, how the curls lay sweat-damp against his forehead, while the green of Billie’s eyes glinted beneath almost-closed lids; then, with a low groan he pushed his hips forward.
“Oh my God, Bill,” his voice rasped as his cock pushed past the minor resistance of the ring of muscle and sank deep into Billie’s ass. “Oh my God.”
He filled his lungs with a ragged inhalation of air and slid his hands along Billie’s quivering sides to curl beneath his shoulders and pull him upwards. One leg slid from beneath him, his foot seeking the firmness of the floor to steady them both and very slowly, he began to thrust. Billie arched back in his arms and Jason was glad of his foot on the floor helping to keep them upright.
Holding Billie secure in the circle of his arms, he continued to thrust; slow measured strokes at first, luxuriating in the pleasure of Billie’s ass hot and tight around his cock and knowing from the sounds his partner was making that Billie was enjoying it as much as he was.
“Let go, Bill,” he coaxed, one hand raising to smooth the drenched hair from Billie’s forehead. “Just let go.”
Harder and harder his cock pumped, pushing Billie closer and closer to orgasm, his hips cocked at just the right angle to hit Billie’s prostate with each stroke. He felt the slender body he held begin to shudder and tightened his grip.
Suddenly Billie stiffened, his head falling back on his shoulders in a silent scream as heat pooled between them, the stickiness covering both their bellies. Jason felt Billie’s muscles contract around his cock even as Billie came apart in his arms and didn’t even bother to try and muffle the groan of release that seemed to come from somewhere south of his belly button as he emptied into Billie.
Every inch of him continued to tingle with blissful pleasure as his movements stilled and he clasped Billie to him, both of them struggling for breath. His hand shook slightly as it ran down Billie’s back in a gentle caress.
“H-holy c-crap, dude.” Billie’s chuckle was soft as he straightened slightly to look at Jason. His eyes were lazy with satisfaction, his lips full and pliant as they smiled. The angry, stressed-out man from earlier was nowhere to be seen as Jason brushed his lips tenderly over the smile.
“Hold on... I’m getting too old for this.” His own soft laugh was raspy in the afterglow. With a minimum of fuss, he shifted, rearranging them both, then leaned back to rest against the arm of the sofa, drawing a quiescent Billie along with him. “There, that’s better, isn’t it?” he asked, cradling Billie against him.
“Much, much better.” Billie almost purred with contentment and Jason knew he wasn’t only speaking of their change in position. “Thanks, Jason.” He draped an arm over Jason’s chest. “You always know exactly what will make me feel better.”
“Consider it an early Christmas present.” Jason kissed the top of Billie’s head as it nestled on his shoulder. “Speaking of which, we’re gonna have to go back to the party at some point.”
“Not right now, ’kay?” Billie tilted his head to look at him, his tone just a little bit anxious. “I just need to stay here with you a little while longer before I have to face the real world again.”
“Anything you need, Bill.” Jason’s hand eased Billie’s head back into place on his shoulder. “Anything you need.”
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