Written for Trin for the 2009 xmas_rocks exchange
| This story is a work of fiction and therefore completely untrue. No harm or libel is meant or implied about any of the individuals named within this work and it was written without their involvement or permission. No profit is being made. |
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As the house lights came back on and everyone started pouring out of the venue like bees flying out from their hive to go about their business, the band started breaking up the set, helping to pack up their instruments. Andy always took the longest because, well, drumset.
As Pete started roughhousing with one of the roadies, Andy looked on with only the slightest hint of amusement. In the past, oh, fifteen years or so, Pete had gone from scrawny teenager to immature young adult and finally to a celebrity that Hollywood loved to hate. He had gone from Pete who occasionally filled in for Racetraitor to Pete who screamed for Arma Angelus to Pete from Fall Out Boy with the eyeliner and the tight ass jeans. So much had changed, and yet it still felt nearly the same as the first day he and Pete Wentz shared a stage together. "What are you thinking about?" Andy heard a voice in his head and thought he was beginning to lose it (or maybe he already lost it? How many nears had he been in Fall Out Boy now?) until he realized that Pete had somehow ended up right next to him, probably having decided to pester him instead of annoying the roadies. "I'm thinking about the old days," Andy replied, forcing himself to stop daydreaming about nostalgia and focus on getting his snares into their covering and into the instrument storage unit. He can still remember when they used to have to fit his beloved kit into the back of a van and still squish four lonely boys in there, too. "Oh yeah? What are you thinking about?" Pete asked, making himself useful by helping Andy with the high hat. "Oh you know. Just wondering how we got to this point. It seems like." Andy paused and looked up at Pete, seeing just a hint of the boyish grin that he remembered liking so much. "Oh never mind." "What?" Pete asked, the curiosity definitely getting the better of him. He always had to pry for more information, especially when it involved someone beginning to speak about a subject but changing their mind. "We've changed a lot over the years." Andy caved in because, having known Pete for so long, he knew that he would continue to pester Andy until he continued. "You've changed a lot." Pete's smile faded slightly, the luster from his too-big teeth disappearing as he realized about what Andy was speaking. "I'm still that boy with long limbs and an awkward walk that you liked so much back when hardcore was my life," Pete pointed out with a poke to Andy's side. Andy only returned a glare that was slightly hidden behind his eyeglasses. "You're married, you have a family. You get attacked by paparazzi just by walking out the door now. I miss the days when we just fucked around and played video games and you pissed me off by eating meat in front of me." A small snort from Pete told Andy that perhaps he wasn't taking things quite as seriously as Andy had hoped. "Dude, do you remember what I said to you the day you agreed to join Fall Out Boy permanently?" Pete asked as they tossed the instruments into storage and took a walk back to the buses. "Yeah," Andy replied, waiting outside the bus he shared with Patrick.
Andy had just finished watching Patrick, Joe, and Pete playing with the temporary drummer and he had to admit, Patrick definitely made this band more promising. The kid's voice was incredible and he couldn't believe that someone like him existed. And when he heard that Patrick was a drummer, well. That sort of settled it. "Okay, I'm joining but only on one condition," Andy replied, looking skeptically at Wentz's attempts at spinning with his bass. "Yeah, what's that?" Joe asked, the lisp most definitely apparent as he spoke. Andy thought that kid was just adorable and had so much energy. When he heard that this was mostly all Joe's idea, that Pete was just the driving force to making it happen, he was instantly excited. "I don't get teased about my personal moral stances, Pete loses the nipple rings, and we never get so big that we lose our heads and our modesty." Andy chuckled as Pete's face became a combination of excitement and horror. "Okay, you can keep the nipple rings, but dude. No shirtless photos with them on." Pete made no comment about them and just tossed an arm around Andy, the other arm going around Patrick. "You and me." Andy thought that he was talking to Patrick, but Pete's eyes told him otherwise. "It's going to be you and me 'till the end of fucking time." And that was that.
"I didn't lose my head and I eventually lost the nipple rings," Pete pointed out, tossing his arm around Andy, much in the same manner as he did all those years ago. "And what I said still stands." "Yeah, you lost the nipple rings after one ripped while you were crowd surfing, genius. Joe continuously mocks my moral stances when he's high. Which, by the way, not as fun debating him while high as you might think. And your head...you might not have lost it, but it's certainly gone astray. I mean, seriously. Hollywood, man." Andy couldn't help leaning into Pete's side, though. The dude might have been scrawny, but so was Andy. And Pete gave off some nice body heat. "Okay, so I'm an asshole. I've always been an asshole and you know that has never changed," Pete pointed out with a pointed look to his friend. "I can't control Joe and his philosophical debates while stoned out of his mind, either. And I didn't think I'd like Hollywood, but I met Ashlee, so...it wasn't so bad." Andy studied his friend closely, noting how much Pete had physically changed. He was starting to show laugh lines, some aging wrinkles here and there. There were many more tattoos, his hair certainly took on a new style. But underneath all of that, there was still the same old Pete somewhere. And Pete's words still echoed in his head. "Point. Still, sometimes I wonder where your heart is. But if this is what makes you happy." Andy raised an eyebrow and upon seeing Pete's grin - the one he only shows privately, when smiles really counted - he knew that this lifestyle made him happy. The band made him happy. And even though maybe a tiny bit of it went to Pete's head, he was still the same lovable guy from Racetraitor, Arma Angelus, whatever hardcore band Pete was filling in for that week. "Hey, this does make me happy. And you guys make me happiest. No matter what, I'm still gonna be right by your side. 'Till the end of fucking time." Pete's grin was so infectious Andy soon found himself to be grinning widely with him. "You know," Pete began, his smile taking on a more sinister turn. "I'm surprised that I've kissed everyone in the band but you." Andy hadn't expected Pete to turn the subject to that. But it was a very Pete thing to do. Sometimes he wondered just how Pete's brain worked. "Yeah? Maybe I didn't want to be just another guy Pete Wentz conquered with his lips," Andy replied dryly. "Hey dude, I'm being serious here. Even Patrick did it and he was sober," Pete pointed out with an eyebrow. "I mean, I even tried that one time and you denied me. That was cold, man." Andy rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe they were having this conversation. "I'm being serious, too. Besides, you know how I feel about relationships." Pete sighed as he placed his hand on Andy's thigh. "Yeah, you little anarchist. It's just a kiss. It's not going to pull your entire philosophy to the ground." "That's not what I'm afraid of," Andy argued, feeling his whole body just sort of jitter with the feeling of Pete's hand on his thigh. If it were any other night, Andy would have shoved him away, made some joke about all of this and just go back to his bus. But Pete had to fucking bring up everything, make Andy feel too vulnerable inside. "Then what are you afraid of?" Pete asked, prying as always. Andy could kill him. If he didn't care so much about the shorter dude, he probably would have killed him by now with little to no remorse. "I'm afraid," Andy explained, averting his eyes to something far less interesting than Pete's face. "That the kiss will mean more to one of us. And being able to have only one kiss? That's just not my style." Andy was all about commitment of a different sort. He didn't believe in marriage or in family, but he believed in something innate, natural. He believed that there was a much deeper connection involved. Since he was an atheist, he didn't believe in soulmates - that every person was destined to find someone that completes him on a purely spiritual level - but he did believe that there was someone out there that could bring meaning to his life. That could touch him in such a way no one else could. And Andy was afraid that someone like Pete could be that person. Someone who was already married and starting a family. Who touched his life already in so many ways that it was almost insane to think of anyone else. "Well dude, if you ever change your mind, you know where I live." Pete kissed Andy's cheek and then ruffled his hair teasingly. "I'd better get back to the bus before Joe and Patrick drag us on board. See you in the next city." And when Pete left, Andy stayed put despite knowing that he needed to get back to the bus before Patrick yelled at him for delaying it. He waited until the door closed and he heard Patrick's voice calling at him to depart for his room, pass out and forget about the whole conversation. He knew that underneath everything, Pete was still the same lost little boy that he grew to care about more than he realized. And that, that was what scared him the most. Knowing that Pete hadn't really changed; only built himself up to be a different person. If that happened to be the case, then Andy was so very fucked. He knew he couldn't get swept away in Pete Wentz. He knew that Pete Wentz swept away a number of people, and Andy did not want to be another one of the number of people Pete could claim. But as Andy collapsed in his bed and changed into his pajamas, he started contemplating what ifs. What if Pete had never met Ashlee. What if Pete actually liked it beneath the waist. What if someone else were drumming for Fall Out Boy? And when he closed his eyes and slipped into sleep, the only thing he could think of was how much he wouldn't change a thing. No matter what options existed - time travel or whatnot - he would keep everything the way it happened to be. Because if he altered everything just a little bit, then there was the chance that Pete would not have stuck by Andy 'till the end. And if that happened; if Pete abandoned Andy, then the world really would be a duller place. "You and me. 'Till the end of fucking time." Those words echoed in his head as he dreamt of a world where everything was perfect and nothing ever changed.
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